Surveyed Students Share their Encounters with Mental Illness at Fordham and Beyond
Mental health issues affect a tremendous number of people but largely go unnoticed and unaddressed. It is important to de-stigmatize mental health issues so that people can feel comfortable getting help and know that they don’t have to fight the battle alone. People always tell me that I’m always happy, upbeat and in a positive mood, but what nobody realizes is that I’m constantly struggling with dark inner demons. There are times where my depression and anxiety take over and get so bad it seems like I’ll never be happy again. I get so scared and so alone, but I don’t tell anybody because I don’t want people to change their opinion of me and to think of me as weak or to pity me. I’m realizing now that I am not in this fight alone, but it’s still extremely difficult for me to talk about struggles with mental health. Society as a whole needs to fix the way we view and address mental health issues, and it all starts with better educating and informing ourselves on the matter.
One of my therapists told me that it was hilarious I was still alive. 0/10 would not recommend.
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and in my experience many of my peers seem to think it’s not a big deal. They often say things like “Well I get nervous, too” but it’s not the same. That’s why I also feel uncomfortable saying that I have a mental illness, because when I talk about my anxiety people usually brush me off. It’s not the same. I didn’t sleep for most of my freshman year, for weeks at a time I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I would pass out during exams. The Fordham CPS really helped me. A dean who I would talk to about my struggles during exams suggested I go to CPS. I didn’t have to wait long and the counselor I saw helped me try to get my anxiety under control. She also suggested I get tested to see if I would be diagnosed with something. In the summer between my freshman and sophomore year I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was relieved to find out that what I was experiencing was not normal and that I could possibly improve it. When I came back to Fordham for my sophomore year, I went to CPS again and had a new counselor. He was also incredibly helpful and I began to be able to manage my anxiety and college workload more. CPS also suggested I speak to ODS [Office of Disability Services] and I am so happy I did because I can manage college and exams almost on a normal level now. Fordham has handled my anxiety incredibly well, however the students at Fordham have not. Like I said earlier, many students assume I’m exaggerating or that their experience is like mine. They often say things that make me feel like I’m getting an unfair advantage by using ODS. Every time I consider maybe not using ODS I think back to my awful experience freshman year and have to remind myself that I don’t have to make my peers understand my situation, but I owe it to myself to take care of myself in the best way I can.
I’ve had an eating disorder and struggled with self-harm at Fordham. I’m seeing a counselor at CPS and she helps me understand the sources and triggers of my stress which gives me a greater degree of control in my life.
Being such a prestigious university, the pressure is high to do well and I often feel myself comparing my own accomplishments with those of other students and feeling like I am not on the same level as other students here. I have social anxiety and am extremely insecure and I often feel like I don’t fit in. Most of my issues are things I need to come to terms with myself before seeking any outside help, so I am extremely reluctant to pursue any type of counseling even though CPS is so accessible.
I’ve found my mental health very confusing to navigate. Thoughts of suicide weigh on me daily and it’s a very isolating place to be. I took a shot with Fordham counseling, but I’m not really sure if it helped. I’m hesitant to seek medication because I know so many people who have tried to coax their doctors into prescriptions, even when they don’t really need it.
I have been to a psychiatrist and have been formally diagnosed with a certain illness that I refuse to talk about. I fight it every day. I’ve been prescribed Zoloft, an anti-depressant, but refuse to take it. I could use this space to dwell on my condition, but I don’t want to. I’d simply like to say that mental illness can be found in the people you least expect. It is real. It is painful. But it is a battle that can be won. Be supportive.
I am surprised sometimes how badly anxiety can affect some of my friends. I have often tried to make them aware of the resources that they can utilize at Fordham, however, they always neglect that as a possibility with a reply such as “I’m not the only one that gets this way” or “That’s not for people like me.”
I have watched many of my friends, who I met here at Fordham, struggle with mental illness – three of my friends have already had to leave to be rehabilitated or hospitalized and I am only a sophomore. Stigmas on campus and in campus institutions like Residential Life made it harder for them to stay here, and my friends who have made it this far are still struggling, especially due to denial of recognition and understanding of their illness within the institution of Residential Life.
I had a really positive experience with CPS. Once I contacted them, I was set up with weekly meetings very quickly. I really liked the person I met with, and I found the experience to be really helpful to me and incredibly cathartic. If anything, I wish I could have continued to go for longer, but I totally understand why the 10-week cap exists.
The counseling services which Fordham offers are incredibly helpful and I think that this should be talked about more. I think they are a fantastic opportunity to take advantage of for just about everyone on campus. I personally benefited a lot from hearing new and unbiased insights on the issues I brought up during my sessions and I think that is something that can be helpful, regardless of what sort of problem someone is dealing with. I think it is always helpful to have someone to talk to whose job it is to listen and not to judge, and that is what I found at CPS.
There has always been pressure for doing well in school to have a successful life. CPS helped me figure out the underlying factors as to why I was always so focused on doing well and how it affected me in a negative way when I wasn’t doing well. I feel like I learned more about myself as a person and how to combat those thoughts that have been instilled in me since elementary school.
Yes, I do share my experiences with mental health issues, but only with close friends who understand that I am more than a series of mixed emotions and irrational behaviors. Others who do not know me as well will most likely find it as a reason to not interact with me, and it cycles into me being lonely. Mental illness is a daily, uphill battle on a rocky path that no one should face alone.
I found that my levels of anxiety were disproportionate to my peers and sought help at CPS. While there, I participated in individual sessions. I found them exceedingly helpful and found CPS to be a very welcoming environment. In short, they helped me sort myself out and become healthier, though I still have a long way to go.
I wish that when I first started Fordham freshman year, we were given some form of workshops or that we were at least informed about mental health and the resources that were available to us during orientation. I feel that instead, these issues were swept under the rug and not readily discussed. I, myself had a very difficult first year transitioning to college and I felt very alone and overwhelmed. If it weren’t for a few close friends and family members, I’m not sure if I would have made it.
I started going to the counseling center for depression and anxiety during my sophomore year, after dealing with mental health issues and seeing various therapists throughout high school. My counselor was incredibly helpful and I don’t regret seeking help in the office for a second, but I did feel pretty uncomfortable that the office employed students to work the reception desk. I already recognized half the people sitting in the waiting room with me; having to check in for my appointments with people I vaguely knew (including some I had known even before coming to Fordham) made me feel like I had to admit that I was struggling to people I didn’t really want to share that information with. At least with the other students in the waiting room, we were all kind of in the same boat — they might not have known what I was going through, but they were going through things too, and it felt like we had a sort of understanding among us to respect each other’s privacy. It was hard to feel that about the student workers, who (as far as I knew) couldn’t understand what I was going through and might not understand the feeling of vulnerability and slight terror that comes with seeking mental health treatment. What was stopping them from going out and telling their friends that they had seen me in the office? I hate that I was scared of that — there’s absolutely no shame in seeking help when your body is sick, so why should it be any different when it’s your mind that’s in trouble? But still, it felt like my personal struggle was being put on display to people who couldn’t possibly get it.
Mental health issues are really hard to deal with because they’re not visible. They’re not something you just know about — a lot of people live with mental illness for a long time without knowing they have it, and thus without the ability to talk about it. One of the hardest things is that mental illness can take on forms that many people don’t understand aren’t under your control — for example, when depression manifests as executive dysfunction rather than “sadness.” You get called lazy — you call yourself lazy. You feel useless and worthless, but it’s something you just can’t do — mental illness is something real, and it’s really hard to fight it. A lot of the time people either just don’t see that it’s because of a real health issue, or they don’t recognize mental illness as a legitimate reason to have a hard time with something. Ableism like that is really hard to deal with. It’s also hard because it’s so difficult to access accommodations for it, with academic stuff particularly. CPS and Disability Services do their best, but they can’t always help you, or help you in the way you need. And that sucks.
