Dear Emma,
I’m about to graduate and I’m starting to panic. There’s a boy I met in my freshman orientation group that became my best friend. We were best friends all throughout college, and we always joked about dating and getting married one day. We both dated other people over the years, but we’re both single now and he hasn’t brought up dating at all. I wouldn’t be panicking if we were going to the same place after college. I’m living in New York, and he has a job in Boston. I’m starting to realize my feelings for him now that we’re leaving, and I’m nervous that if I don’t say anything I’ll miss my chance completely. But, I also don’t want to lose him as a friend if he doesn’t feel the same way. What should I do?
Friend-zone
Dear Friend-zone,
Some of the best relationships come from friendships. If you can see yourself seriously being with this guy, you should definitely bring it up to him. If you were to just let him go, you could easily regret it years later. Before you bring it up, you should be sure about your feelings for him. Situations like this are really tricky because you could easily lose him as a friend. Looking at the big picture, you should definitely say something. If you’re nervous, maybe get a friend that you trust suggest to him that he should ask you on a date, so that if he doesn’t want to, it doesn’t look like it came from you and it won’t ruin the friendship. In the worst case scenario, at least you tried.
Emma
Dear Emma,
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. She ended things with me, but now she’s been texting me. She’ll text me when she’s out late at night, which I understand is probably when she’s feeling most lonely. But, she’s not saying she wants to get back together or anything; she’s texting me pointless things. When she’s drunk she’ll say she misses me, but then she’ll deny it the next day. Sometimes I don’t answer, or I’ll answer with one word, but she’s not getting it. How can I make her stop without being mean?
Nice Guy
Dear Nice Guy,
Since she ended things with you, she has no right to be texting you those things. She should be giving you space unless she has something important to say. The next time she texts you, just ask her to stop. Tell her that if she has something important to say she can text you about it, but other than that you don’t want to hear from her anymore. It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate. If she doesn’t get it after that, you should either block her number or be firm. You deserve better.
Emma
Email questions to fordhamramaskemma@gmail.com
