By Christiana Shovlin
This past Thursday, Nov. 14, I left Senior Night at the McGinley Center and started walking home with my girlfriend. I was dressed as a Puritan, and MaryGrace was dressed as Gloria Steinem (the theme was party in the USA). We parted ways with both of our groups of friends in the hopes of having a quiet walk to ourselves. It was a relatively warm night and we were displaying our romantic affection for one another in very obvious ways: holding hands, hugging, etc.
However, it was when we passed by the Public Safety building that we realized that something was out of the ordinary. Seeing one of the last flowers still in bloom, I decided to pick it and give it to MaryGrace. What we then noticed was that two men walking directly behind us were mimicking my action mockingly.
At first we ignored them — as two gay women, we had previously experienced similar unpleasant actions and catcalls. But the mocking did not end; the men continued, exchanging stereotypically “girly” pats and holding hands. It was clear they were following and targeting us. They were also exchanging sarcastically loving dialogue, calling each other “baby” and saying, “Oh my god babe, you look so pretty!” At this point neither of us could ignore these blatant aggressions any longer. We too responded in mocking fashion and said loudly to each other things like, “Oh you’re right, walking together is an invitation to mock us!” and, “Yes, this relationship serves to be the butt of a joke.”
To this the two men addressed us directly and encroached upon our personal space. They came around our shoulders to face us, and were within one foot of us. They continued to make comments about our relationship including, “Yeah you like holding hands?” Most of the argument was unintelligible by either side until one man leaned in very close to MaryGrace and asked, “Is it good?”
After this we were both feeling pretty unsafe, but thankfully, we ran into one of our friends. Seeing our friend, (who happens to be a man) the two aggressors finally began walking off campus, jostling each other as they left. We recounted what had just happened to our friend. He was appalled by our retelling, as were we.
I felt terribly unsafe. The two men (who neither of us had ever seen before) had to have been part of the senior class, as they were in costumes as well. We all expressed our disbelief at the severity of this heckling incident. We couldn’t stop asking how something like this could happen on our own campus.
I did not do anything about this the day after it happened. I did not do anything about it two days after it happened. I did nothing for a week, because I am desensitized to instances of bias regarding my sexuality. In times prior when I have physically expressed my sexuality, I have not been afforded the privacy or respect that is given to my outwardly straight counterparts. I have been heckled before and so has MaryGrace, so this was nothing new. But neither of us had ever experienced anything to this degree, let alone on our college campus.
We agreed that the most disturbing part of the entire incident was that it did not seem that the two men even realized we were together until we explicitly confronted them about mocking our relationship. Our physical expressions that are commonly indicative of a romantic relationship were not even registered as such (perhaps we were just ‘gal pals’), and when they were, they were met by ignorance and hatred. I am not the norm, and I know this. I know that people will heckle me because of who I choose to be romantic with in public. I know that some people will first assume that we are simply friends when witnessing our physical expressions of intimacy.
What I cannot abide for is that the most aggressive and invasive action of hate regarding my sexuality happened on my college campus and was committed by two of my classmates. What was the butt of a joke to these two men is my identity. I will likely walk across Keating steps in a cap and gown and graduate with these two men. It is my opinion that they have learned nothing of core Jesuit values during their time at Fordham, and yet they will receive a degree just as I will.
There is something wrong with an institution that can have multiple instances of hatred and oppression occur in such a short amount of time. Not one full day after we were heckled, MaryGrace reported incidents of racist chanting happening in her apartment building. Earlier this week, I attended the Fordham Students’ United facilitated speakout in response to these racially biased incidents. I heard so many testimonies in which students of color felt unsafe, unwanted, and unheard on this campus. After this incident, as a gay woman I too feel unsafe, unwanted, and unheard.
There is a problem with the way issues of sexual assault, racism, and bias are treated at Fordham, and I know that I am not the first person to feel afraid to speak up. When students feel as if the administration, faculty or fellow students will dismiss their experiences, there is something horrifically wrong with campus culture. I’m shocked and appalled by the way two of my fellow students treated me. I, and so many members of the student body, am calling out to the administration to take real and tangible actions to promote a safer, more compassionate, and more respectful Fordham.
Christiana Shovlin is a senior from Doylestown, PA.
