I had already deleted his number when I got a text from an unfamiliar area code which read “I need to talk.”I hoped it was a wrong number. We hadn’t been seeing each other long, but it had certainly run its course.
This anecdote of my misfortune epitomizes for you the two most popular ways of approaching a breakup. There is the shady “let me fade away and erase you from my life,” or at least “delete my contact list” approach, which is my most recent approach. Then, there is the daunting and mature “we should talk.” Both methods get the same point across, but choosing which one is right for your situation and when to act is difficult. Prolonging the process is possibly the most painful option of all.
For the shady “let me fade away,” the key is that you actually fade away and do not just entirely stop talking to the person. Granted I deleted the lad’s number, but I built up to that. I sent sporadic texts and snapchats partially trying to feel out our situation, and also partially out of boredom. This way of ending things is really self-explanatory. You just pull away and let the communication dissipate like your feelings for the other person.
Most people can get the hint that when you send a text and don’t get a response after an hour or more for the hundredth time, things must be as over as Selena and Justin. The downsides to this approach are plentiful. It is undeniably immature, petty, mean and somewhat rude. It will most likely leave the other person bitter and wondering “what did I do?”
While a little selfish, this option could be best for both parties if what you had was not particularly serious. If you were only seeing the person anywhere from a couple weeks up to a couple of months and decided it was not right, having a conversation might not help. Either way; you probably won’t be friends despite that cheesy “we should still be friends” line.
Telling the other person you aren’t interested anymore or are interested in someone else is like pouring hydrogen peroxide on a wound. It might be the healthy and appropriate thing to do, but the anticipation is unnerving, and when the acid hits the wound, it burns like hell. I prefer to avoid that burn on top of the existing pain.
Talking it out, however, is mandatory in some cases. Sometimes things just do not work out, and that is obvious, which is why it would be okay to pull away. In a relationship of one semester long or more, however, a talk may be necessary. If someone is doing something wrong in the relationship, try to work out what the issues are. From there, you have a better guage of where to take it from there. Having the talk in serious relationships is an ultimate necessity, just like cleaning out those big nasty stitch-worthy gashes. Those only get worse before they get better.
Breaking up isn’t fun, and it isn’t easy, but it is a part of life and learning. Do what is best for you and what will make you the most happy, because after all, it is your life.
Happy break-ups y’all!