One thing I cannot stand is when someone is looking for a prospective partner and rules that person out because he or she is not the right “type.” I hate this because how could you know whether or not someone is your type without talking to that particular someone.
Sure, we can look across a room and be like “Hot damn! He/She is fine!” but just because someone doesn’t initially strike your fancy doesn’t mean he or she never will. Attraction is obviously a very important factor in a relationship, but you would be amazed how much more attractive a person can become to you after you get to know that person better.
It’s difficult because we all think the taller, the skinner, the stronger (the bone structure that is), the better a person is. This is not true, however. There is no correlation between beauty and personality. Granted, we subconsciously choose people who we think will be good mates for reproduction purposes, but we’re in college and babies are not a big concern right now. So, save that animalistic instinct for later.
The truth is, just because a guy doesn’t have those beautiful blue eyes you always love, it doesn’t mean he is any less of a match for you. Just because a girl doesn’t fill out a bra quite like Dolly Parton doesn’t mean she isn’t an amazing girl.
Now I am not saying you should settle; I am saying you should give people a chance. You might surprise yourself. College is not the time to be picky. It is the time to experiment and learn what it is you want out of a relationship. You have to realize that you are a college student and not a casting director. You don’t have to typecast, because you don’t know exactly what you want yet. If you spend your four years waiting for a Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to be walking around, you’re just a sucker out of luck and will never learn a thing about relationships.
Sometimes what you think you want isn’t exactly what you need. Maybe the reason you aren’t with someone who fits your “type” is because you had that before and it wasn’t working. It’s either that or you found someone who you think would be perfect, but got too scared to actually talk to them. This “type” you want is nothing but an idea. I mean, sometimes I wish I dated a hipster because hipsters seem smart and dress well. Then, I realize my boyfriend is pretty smart too and throw some flannel, a V-neck and glasses his way as a compromise. If you are judging people about the way they dress, keep in mind this is subject to change.
You need to be sensitive to things you are judging people about. His nose is too big; her hair is too short; she has a weird scar; his teeth are crooked. Those are all things people cannot necessarily change about themselves, and probably make them feel insecure. Look past those faults because they are meaningless.
By the same token, you shouldn’t be flattered by every cheap pick-up line you get at a bar. Some people have the opposite problem and don’t know how to say “No.” If you give someone a chance, and they turn out to be a complete mistake, it’s totally okay to walk away.
Talking is the only real way to weed out whether or not someone is your type. It doesn’t matter their race, height or anything else physical. Everyone deserves a chance. So leave the typing to your keyboard and put yourself out there already.