Love is one of the few things easier done than said. By that I mean that it is easy to feel like you are in love with someone, but the idea of confessing your sentiments is daunting.
“Love” is a tricky thing that is always confused with lust and infatuation. I cannot say I know much about true love, but I know plenty about the latter. Often, college students get caught up playing house and think spending all the time in the world together is love. Let me be the first to say it’s not. Love means something different to everyone, but one thing remains the same: you are there for that person unconditionally, which is not synonymous with being with that person constantly.
A common misconception is that people in love never fight. That is an utter fallacy. Fighting on occasion is a healthy way to express emotion. Arguments and disagreements handled well are a sign of maturity. Often couples who don’t fight are not comfortable around each other and do not trust that their relationship can handle confrontation. Avoiding fights often leads to constant bickering, which isn’t any healthier.
While being able to handle fights may be a sign of love, it does not mean that a fight is a good time to drop the L word for the first time. You don’t use “love” as a plea to keep someone around. That also goes for being intimate with someone. You don’t tell someone you are in love just to get what you what. If you are going to tell someone you love him or her, my advice is that you should be in a good mood and fully clothed.
I’d assume that you know it is love when you wake up and go to bed with a smile on your face, despite the problems you might have faced throughout the day. You cannot possibly know you love someone until you have your first fight or deal with some sort of issue, such as spending time apart or helping your partner through a rough patch. As happy as you might be, you are never fully content until you know your partner is happy too.
Love comes with a certain kind of selflessness. Recognizing this in your relationship for the first time is easy. Being that happy feels good and natural. Telling someone “I love you” for the first time is exhilarating, but it will come with some apprehension. It is a big step in a relationship. As scary as it may be to tell your first love how you feel, you should be equally as apprehensive — if not more — when you think you are falling head over heels again. If you don’t watch out, you might break yourself falling so hard for so many people.
Regardless, if you feel it, do not be afraid to put yourself out there. Possibly, the biggest fear is that you won’t hear “I love you, too” in return. Sometimes those words are met with a smile, a kiss or even just silence. Those three little words encompass so many emotions that it is not easy to process right away. You might not hear “I love you” back in a split second or even for a couple weeks. Trust me when I say that is normal. The best kind of love is mutual, so hearing those words is worth the wait.