We take our friends’ advice on what shoes to wear, what beer to drink and what music to listen to, but maybe it is time to take their dating advice a little more seriously as well. Sure, you got me, The Ramantic, but your friends know you a little better than I do.
One thing we all close our ears to is our friends’ respective decisions to tell us that they don’t like who we’re dating. Maybe your friend is subtle and ignores your beau when he or she is around, or maybe it is more of a blatant “I don’t like him/her.” Your first reaction is probably to get mad at your friend and call him or her jealous. Your first reaction, however, should be to re-evaluate your relationship.
As a party outside of the relationship, friends have a clearer perspective of your relationship that your love — or infatuation rather — blinds. That same blindness may distort your perspective of the intentions of your protective friends. One friend of mine went so far as to say I was jealous and couldn’t be happy for her because I couldn’t even be happy for myself. Well, that was a null argument because for as many of my friends’ boyfriends I haven’t liked, there have been twice as many I did like. Do not assume your friend is jealous, they are probably just looking out for you.
You probably think you are happy, because you have been in that relationship, and it is all you know. Maybe something doesn’t feel right, but it might feel even worse to have to let go of your relationship. You don’t have to break up right away because of what your friends say, but try to understand where your friends are coming from.
As happy as you think your boyfriend or girlfriend makes you, don’t you remember how happy your friends make you, too? Do you not miss those fun memories that have been eroded by tension?
If your friends think your girlfriend is a psychopath, she is probably a psychopath. If your friends think you can do better, you can do better! Do not settle in a relationship that is going to amount to nothing. I mean, if it does amount to something, you are going to have one short guest list at your wedding, and no bridesmaids or groomsmen standing on either side of you at the altar.
Maybe I’m a bit of a jerk, but I do not think you have to be supportive of your friend’s relationships. I am never going to support a relationship in which I know my friend could do better and be happier. I am also not going to support a relationship that has obvious flaws. Some faults are less obvious, but still apparent. It takes the special X-ray goggles called “friendship” to reveal these subtle flaws.
This dilemma is the ultimate decision, as it comes down to choosing your lover or your friends. Do not make any drastic choices just because your friend says so, but do not avoid the subject with your friend, either. If you think your guy or gal really is swell, prove it. Have your beau hang around and prove him or her worthy.
